so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
