Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
