i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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