Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
