drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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