Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The adults are the big ones right?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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