Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
