Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
