I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
