Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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