i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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