Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wish life had little blips of pornography
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
