Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
