I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
