oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude i'm inner monologue high
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
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She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
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I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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