Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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