i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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