Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
PANTIES FOUND
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