That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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