ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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