But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
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She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
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Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize