my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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