whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
