I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
