my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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