I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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