I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
