Jerry, you need to find god
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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