i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize