she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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