you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
