Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
