you guys were way drunker than both of me
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
