I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
