i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
