successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
