Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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