This beer is not sobering me up at all
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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