there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
