she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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