That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
we should paint friendship bongs
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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