he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
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EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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