I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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