Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize