Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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