Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
