dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
