Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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