the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
