i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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