Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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