I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
