I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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