we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
nutella sex= disaster
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
