"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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