Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
